Friday, December 08, 2006

The Best of Captain Capitalism - All I Want For Christmas...

I figured since it's Christmas time we should resurrect an old post that I think shows just how well off we are here in the US

OK, so if you're not familiar with this, those little ads on top of my blog are inserted there so in the INEVITABLE event this blog becomes as popular as Drudge, and each day everyone who visits this site clicks on it, I make a bajillion dollars.

How the code in Adsense works is it identifies key words in a post and then advertises relevant or related items.

So in one of my more recent posts I referenced "Old Farts" when talking about the costs the older Americans are putting on our health system. It didn't occur to me until I looked a bit more closely at what was being advertised.
Wow, just what I always wanted! A FART MACHINE! Forget X-Box 360! I want a Fart Machine!

Oooo! A DISCOUNT Fart Machine! I don't know about that. I only want grade A acoustics when replicating farts.


Wait! What's this! I can CHOOSE from 5 DIFFERENT FART NOISES!!!!??? God Bless America! Some kids don't have running water in some countries. Some kids' growth is stunted in the likes of North Korea because of lack of nutrition. But our American children get to choose the octave of fart they want!


No, no way! I mean, is it possible??? Is it true! I can get a REMOTE CONTROL Fart Machine???!!!! Forget a luxurious life style of double income, no kids, with a beautiful and insanely intelligent wife where we gallivant across the globe and I lavish her with gifts and she plays the video game sex maiden who likes to serve me martini's. No, I have now found my true purpose in life.

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